“To know what that true self is without social pressure is to know your true nature.” – Martha Beck
…Have you ever heard of the saying ‘comparison is the thief of joy’? Even though I had heard this saying plenty of times in the past, I didn’t realize I was still subconsciously engaging in it..
For those of you reading this who feel pressured by society’s standards in some way, shape, or form, keep reading.
How do we cope with you’re:
– too fat
– too skinny
– too soft spoken
– too loud
– too weak
– too strong
….uggghhhh..!!
For those of us who tend to feel like we aren’t where we’re supposed to be, because society says so — Forget society’s standards!
How am I supposed to just forget society’s standards, Dani?!?
Sometimes we engage in drinking alcohol, get involved in unfulfilling relationships, go shopping, comfort eat, etc. because we want to suppress the anxiety, stress, or other unpleasant feelings that come along with when we compare ourselves to others….when we’re on our hamster wheel trying to keep up with unrealistic expectations we have subconsciously placed on ourselves.
How I shift?
– Finding inner strength and practicing acceptance. One day, I spent some time really tuning into my self-talk, and I realized I’m REALLY hard on myself. To shift: I accept where I’m at. I remind myself that though there are people “better off”, there are also people worse off. And my situation could always be worse.
– I stop comparing myself to others. This unhealthy habit is really easy for anyone to fall into. I tend to do it without even realizing it sometimes. We each have our different stories and different lives. You NEVER know what someone else’s story and challenges are.
– I INTENTIONALLY choose to do the things I KNOW not only support me in experiencing happiness but also ‘pour into my cup’ (or are fulfilling). I choose how I spend my time very wisely. I only do things in my free/available time that I know will make “deposits” into my soul account. Just like how we look at managing money; time is also a valuable resource. How I’m spending my time can significantly impact how I feel and how I’m measuring myself up to society’s standards.
– Spend time with other women who relate to my challenges. FIND YOUR TRIBE. Finding a tribe of women who you can relate to really helps give you a back up team. If you’re looking for an online group/community to join, check out our free online community: The Affinity Lounge Women.
– Taking a break from social media. I try to be mindful of my mood when I scroll through social media. If I notice my mood declining and feeling slightly down from being on social media too much, I close it out, I put my phone down, and I go do something else.
If you think about it, in reality, NONE of us fit in a box. WE ALL have different stories, experiences, and backgrounds.
So if you’re feeling like you don’t belong…technically, NONE of us do.
Need more juice? Check out my YouTube video on Mindset Shifting:
love always,
dani
___________
p.s. Whenever you’re ready… here are a couple of ways you and I can connect beyond this blog:
1. Grab a copy of my Amazon Bestselling book, Stories of an Ex-Party Girl: How to feel happy and good about yourself without alcohol and drugs It’s a tell all guide on how to create a joy-filled life, without needing validation and fulfillment from other things or people. You can grab it on Amazon and on Kindle. — Click Here.
2. Join our FREE community! The 𝘈𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘺 Lounge is a community; a resource to improving the quality of your life and cultivating self love. We discuss topics on how to manage waves of intense challenging emotions, being able to navigate conflict, express feelings better, get clear on and establish boundaries, and improve communication and relationships.