Still obsessing over someone you 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 wasn’t right for you? 👀 It’s not just about your heart—it’s about your brain.🧠
🧠𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗻’𝘀 𝗮𝗱𝗱𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗵𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘀/𝗹𝗼𝘄𝘀
When a relationship is filled with ups and downs—intense arguments followed by intense makeups—your brain starts associating 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘰𝘴 with 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯. That emotional rollercoaster activates your reward system like a drug, keeping you hooked, even if it wasn’t healthy.
💔 𝗧𝗿𝗮𝘂𝗺𝗮 𝗯𝗼𝗻𝗱𝘀 𝘃𝘀. 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲
This isn’t love—it’s often a trauma bond. You’re bonded by shared wounds or emotional instability, not mutual safety and trust. Real love feels safe, secure, and steady. But when you’re used to drama, calm can feel boring—or even unsafe.
🔄 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗯𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝘆𝗰𝗹𝗲
Start by recognizing the pattern, not judging yourself. Ask: 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘮 𝘐 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘭𝘺 𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨—𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘰𝘳 𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘺? Then, begin replacing chaos with consistency—build habits and relationships that feel steady and grounded. Healing begins with 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴, not shame.
I created a video on our YouTube channel you can CHECK IT OUT HERE.
love always,
dani
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p.s. Whenever you’re ready… here are a couple of ways you and I can connect beyond this blog:
1. Grab a copy of my Amazon Bestselling book, Stories of an Ex-Party Girl: How to feel happy and good about yourself without alcohol and drugs It’s a tell all guide on how to create a joy-filled life, without needing validation and fulfillment from other things or people. You can grab it on Amazon and on Kindle. — Click Here.
2. Join our FREE community! The 𝘈𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘺 Lounge is a community; a resource to improving the quality of your life and cultivating self love. We discuss topics on how to manage waves of intense challenging emotions, being able to navigate conflict, express feelings better, get clear on and establish boundaries, and improve communication and relationships.