“We sabotage the great things in our lives because deep down we don’t feel worthy of having the great things.” – Taressa Riazzi
I’m kind of an all or nothing person. And I have a severe Affinity for instant gratification. It’s fascinating, though, that I’ll work really hard for something and then risk losing it nonchalantly. I think people see laughter and smiles on the outside and think life must be so perfect for me. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t have a terrible childhood and I never went without. ..When things knock me down, I do eventually get back up. ….
..But not always. Many times, not only did I knock MYSELF down, but I beat myself up…HARD. So hard that I would never dare say the things I said to myself, to anyone else.
This is self-sabotage.
Here are 5 signs you, too, may be self sabotaging:
1. Negative Self Talk: We don’t pay attention to how we talk to ourselves nearly as much as we should. There is a voice that is constantly running in our head – yours is deciding whether you want to keep reading this article or not…or whether you like me…or maybe what you’re going to eat next? That voice is constantly running and there is no stopping it. Take notice of how you talk to yourself when things get challenging – “C’mon Dani we can do this!” or “Ugh, we can’t do this! How are we going to do this?! Ugh!!!”
2. Comparison Is The Thief Of Joy: As much as I love social media, it also supports the tendency to compare ourselves to other people. Sometimes people end up feeling sad, isolated, inadequate, or frustrated. Plus, it’s easy to squander hours away on social media. That time could be used for taking action steps towards your goals.
3. Isolating: We are human beings and human beings thrive on connection. We THINK isolating feels comfortable….but think about it…. Is it really? Feeling disconnected, alone, and sad? It may seem like such a chore getting out of the house and connecting with others, but you’ll feel so much better afterwards (think about when you hate going to the gym, and how good you feel afterwards when you went anyway).
4. Procrastination: “I’ll do it tomorrow..” “…it’s already half way through the week, I’ll start on Monday.” Procrastination ends up leading to stress and anxiety for not getting things done. Plus it starts to snow ball into an unproductive behavior pattern.
5. Not Taking Care of Yourself: aka Self Care. I used to think self care meant getting my nails done and getting massages. Self care also includes setting boundaries, learning how to say no, making sure I’m eating healthy (relatively) and getting enough sleep.
Awareness is key. Once we begin noticing these behaviors, we can then begin to do something about them. It’s never too late to begin the journey of transformation.