Are you having trouble communicating what’s on your mind or in your heart?
It seems like you and your partner are sometimes on two different pages. At times, it feels like the spark isn’t there anymore.
Do you sometimes feel like a doormat?
Maybe you find yourself saying “yes” when you mean “no.” You commit to doing things just to please the other person when you have no desire to do what you agreed to.
Does your partner tear you down sometimes?
Or sometimes, have you feel crazy for the way you feel? Does it feel like your partner’s sense of humor picks on you or makes fun of you?
Not sure if you should leave or stay?
Sometimes you think things are ‘okay’ and ‘tolerable.’ Other times, you see how happy other couples are and wish you had that.
Maybe it feels like the passion has fizzled out, and the excitement isn’t there anymore. Or you’ve grown apart, have different routines, so you feel like you’re drifting away from each other slowly.
Feeling like life or the relationship is stale. Not really sure what to do to make things more exciting. Thoughts like, “Is this it? Is this how it’s supposed to be?” run through your mind. Things feel like they’ve plateaued or become complacent. It’s the same ol’ routines every day – work, dinner, kids, sleep.
Does it seem as though you end up in the same relationship(s) over and over again?
Even though it’s different people, you’re beginning to notice a pattern. Similarities: Similarities in the arguments, in the personalities, in the final outplay of breaking up, between all of your relationships.
Have you gone through a breakup and are trying to find out what went wrong?
Naturally, you don’t want to carry old ways into a new relationship. Tired of the same thing happening relationship after relationship. You’re starting to realize maybe it’s not them. Perhaps it’s time to take a look inside? Time to see what is going on with you as to how this keeps happening.
Are you trying to find “The One”?
Afraid you may never find your person? Scared that you won’t ever have that ultimate, desirable “10” relationship?
Thoughts like “I’ll never meet the person that’s meant for me. I guess I’ll just die alone or be by myself for the rest of my life.” Wondering, “How can I not have someone? I’ve seen other people with partners, and I question myself.”
Feeling like “what’s wrong with me?” Feeling alone and almost as if you don’t even like yourself for not being in a relationship.
Behaviors like avoiding spending time alone with yourself. Always needing to be around others or doing something with someone else and not ever making the time for yourself in between relationships.
The relationship cycle will inevitably continue until you pause, get introspective, and do things differently. The first step to breaking this cycle is developing a strong, healthy foundation in loving yourself first.
It’s like the cliché; you can’t love someone else until you love yourself first.
We’ll examine what is and what is not working in your relationships.
We’ll look at what your ideal relationship(s) look like. Who are you spending time with currently, and do they uplift you or drain you? Are you spending time surrounding yourself with people who bring you the most joy?
You’ll develop clarity and confidence in yourself and your decisions.
Considering that you’ll be building a strong, healthy foundation in loving yourself. As a result, you’ll also develop self-respect and self-trust, which leads to experiencing confidence in yourself.
You’ll learn to express yourself more effectively to your partner and others.
Sometimes we want to communicate things to the people around us, but we don’t really know what we want to say or how. You’ll become clearer on who you are and what your values are so that you can also better communicate your boundaries, desires, and needs to others.
You’ll be able to reignite the fire you once had.
Learning how to hear and understand your partner (and vice-versa) is key to your ability to reignite that passion. People tend to say the key to a relationship is communication…well, more important than that is comprehension. Communication isn’t much if the awareness and understanding aren’t there.
This means fulfillment on the inside, without needing other people or external things. Like having an itch, you need to scratch: using other people or things to scratch the itch, when instead you learn how to reach and scratch that itch yourself. It feels really good when you realize you can genuinely love yourself and feel good about yourself.
To examine what’s working and not working in your relationships, we need to look at who you’ve been attracting, creating a sort of ‘ghost partner.’ We do this by evaluating former relationships.
Through this process, you’ll begin to understand and see who you tend to attract/allow in your life, the things that trigger you in your relationships, how you respond (behavior-wise), and the real reasons you do what you do (uncovering underlying fears).
In doing all of this work, you’ll begin to form a relationship with yourself. You’ll start to become really clear on what you like and what you don’t like, creating core values and standards for yourself and the relationships you have around you.
You achieve these goals by dating yourself, essentially. Through dating yourself, you ‘set the bar.’ You begin to love yourself at least this much…therefore, anyone else who comes along has to love you at least as much as you love yourself.
I help my clients confront, address, and resolve/overcome these issues by becoming the person they are looking for. I help them become comfortable in their skin.
We create new patterns of behavior by slowing down decision making and taking a moment to pause and ask ourselves – “is what I’m about to do really going to serve me? (Be in my best interest)”.
Old patterns of behavior can look like you need to have the attention of the opposite sex. Sleeping with someone and not understanding why you did—not wanting to be alone with yourself.
The new behavior patterns are better because they don’t leave you with an ‘emotional hangover.’ Like the saying ‘what goes up must come down’? Fulfilling ourselves with things or people leave us feeling hollow at the end of the quick little superficial high.
When you’re able to soothe yourself, meet your own needs, feel genuinely interdependent, it’s a much more rewarding “solid” feeling than the aforementioned.
Because it’s there… whether you’re struggling with a current relationship or are single going through a breakup.
You don’t need to feel embarrassed or ashamed. Couples fight and sometimes feel embarrassed to admit their challenges. Single people sometimes feel silly or ashamed for their struggles in a society that pressures you to meet timelines (married by… house and kids by…).
Nothing is wrong with you. If you’re tired of the relationships you’ve been experiencing and feel you’re ready to make some changes to set you up to welcome that relationship you know you truly deserve, let’s do this!
You are loveable and deserve deep, loving relationships with others and, more importantly, yourself!
Email me today and let’s schedule your complimentary 15- to 30-minute discovery session: